Look Around! Look around at how Lucky We are to be Alive Right Now

This hymn really describes what I'm experiencing right now.

1. If you could hie to Kolob

1. In the twinkling of an eye,
   And then continue onward
   With that same speed to fly,
   Do you think that you could ever,
   Through all eternity,
   Find out the generation
   Where Gods began to be?
2. 2. Or see the grand beginning,
   Where space did not extend?
   Or view the last creation,
   Where Gods and matter end?
   Methinks the Spirit whispers,
   "No man has found 'pure space,'
   Nor seen the outside curtains,
   Where nothing has a place."
3. 3. The works of God continue,
   And worlds and lives abound;
   Improvement and progression
   Have one eternal round.
   There is no end to matter;
   There is no end to space;
   There is no end to spirit;
   There is no end to race.
4. 4. There is no end to virtue;
   There is no end to might;
   There is no end to wisdom;
   There is no end to light.
   There is no end to union;
   There is no end to youth;
   There is no end to priesthood;
   There is no end to truth.
5. 5. There is no end to glory;
   There is no end to love;
   There is no end to being;
   There is no death above.
   There is no end to glory;
   There is no end to love;
   There is no end to being;
   There is no death above.
6. Text: William W. Phelps, 1792-1872

Guys. This piece of rock that we live on is SO RAD. Infinite. Eternal. A testament of Christ's power. Of God's existence. Of his love for us. HOW CAN YOU DENY THE EXISTENCE OF A GOD WHEN YOU LOOK OUT AT THIS WORLD. HOW. God is so good. God is infinite. His love is eternal. Christ's atonement is redeeming. His love saves us. God loves you. He loves me. 

Look around. Look around. At how lucky we are to be alive right now :). 

Sav

Today I was Human

Today, I found my music. In the bottom hand right hand desk drawer in the dining room. Today I cried. Today, I messed up while leading the music. I had a 3/4 song stuck in my head but I was leading a 4/4 song. It's kind of hard to lead 3/4 in a 4/4 instance. Today, I stabbed myself in the eye with my mascara. Today I tripped on my maxi skirt as I stood up. Today, I read my friend's blog and felt loved. Today, I missed my friend. Today, I had garlic bread. Today, I got angry at a child and used a loud and angry tone at him. Today, I ate brownies. Today, I talked to my best friend. Today, I read the scriptures. Today, I made a decision to try something new. Today, I got stressed about math. Today, I played Quiddler with my brother. Today, I spoke Spanish. Today, I laughed because my friends are funny. Today, I missed my friends. Today, I felt nostalgia. Today, I felt shame. Today, I listened to good music. Today, I developed a talent. Today, I was vulnerable.

Today, I was human.

It Hurt. It Was out of Love.

I really need to be doing school. I have a literary analysis essay due, along with a module quiz for Biology, and 30 pages in Last Best Hope, along with a video lecture. I'm drowning. But this is important.

You know that pain that hurts so much that instead of working it out, you simply swallow it and distract yourself? Yeah well. You could say that's me. This morning was the first time I had cried in four weeks. If you know anything about me, you should know that that is not me. I cry. A lot. I cry because I'm laughing too hard, because I climbed a mountain and I look over a beautiful vista. I cry because I received a 100 on a assignment I thought I would barely pass. I cry because I love my friends. I cry because I miss my friends. I cry because Peanut Butter tastes so good. Well. Before today, I hadn't cried in four weeks.

Some of you might know about the Interpersonal Analysis Form for Social Leadership (a class I'm taking offered at Williamsburg Academy). I got mine back last week. Ouch. I thought I was a good friend previous to that critical feedback.

I received a 6/10 on "Listens to Understand". Hopes and dreams: dying.
Respects/tolerates People different from him/herself. 7/10. Hopes and dreams: critical condition.
Aware of how others perceive him/her. 6/10. Hopes and dreams: dead.

The feedback I received was good. I've been improving. But it hurts. It was out of love. I wanted nothing more than to get on a airplane and hug these people. I don't think they know how much I love them. Even when I hurt them and they hurt me. I get hurt because they love me. I hurt them because I love them. Isn't that what friendship is?

The hot tears falling down my face; I thought they would never stop. But they did. Eventually. It felt good. Did you know that you cry as a natural "cool down"? We think we cry because we're sad. Well we do, but there's a scientific reason behind that. If we continued to feel sad without crying, we would work ourselves to a hysteria and it would effect us physically and mentally. Tears are a way for us to channel out emotions out of your body. It's an emotional cool down. So crying is good. (More can be found about this here). 

I hurt. I joy (incorrect grammar. But sometimes you have to write it as it is).

Christ loves us. I know that. I love him.

Rejoice, brother and sisters. There is hope. :)

Savannah

Jumbled and Confused and Messy and Sad

Well it's currently 12 am and I'm wide awake and I feel totally alone and abandoned, and I know I'm not. But it certainly feels that way. I don't understand people. Like I do. A lot; and I love people. A lot. But I don't. I don't understand myself; but I do? Is my entire life a question? Recently I read an article on whether or not our life is a simulation. It's messed with my vibe.
I feel like I should give a perfect answer like I always do in my posts. But I literally have nothing. I'm not going to post this link on Facebook or Twitter, or tell people it's up. I'm just writing for myself and if someone sees it, that's great.

I want to be happy, but I don't know how to obtain that happiness for myself. Ugh. I don't know. I feel friendless. A huge part of my happiness in this experience is my friends. Since I have none here, I depend on those back at home. Kinda sucks when you feel abandoned by them, too. I don't know what my plan is for the future. I LOVE PLANS. But what is a plan? Is it forcing your will upon God's and then expecting him to comply? What even is a plan?

I want to go hug all my friends and tell them it will be okay and that I love them, but currently the only thing I can hug is my pillow and text my friends. Like one of my friends poetically stated, "distance is stupid." 2,000 miles is really far. This post is so disjointed and messy and makes no sense at all. Kind of like me.

God, will you teach me how to be happy? Will you show me the way to happiness? Friends, will you show me you love me? Can I show you that I love you? Mom and Dad, can you show me the way to go? Can I support you? Trenton, Mazie, Benson, Zoe, can I lead you and show you the way? Can I set a good enough example for you?

God, will you lead me?

Savannah

An Act of Pure Will

A meaningful and thought provoking discussion I had with a dear friend of mine lately has been entertaining my thoughts for the past two days. Among the many things we talked about, we talked about the meaning of love, and most importantly Christlike love. My friend asked me what I thought the definition of love was. I did not know, so I asked him in return. He told me how one time he had been asked this question by a member of the Church much older than him, and he, like me, wasn't very sure. He said that the man said that love was "an act of pure will that expects nothing in return." After we had thought about this for a little bit, we were both taught a very simple yet profound truth about the Savior's atonement. The Savior's atonement was an act of pure will that expects nothing in return. Think about that. Pure will. Christ knew that his pain and his suffering was for the good of all mankind. Pure will. He submitted himself to the abusive treatment, pain, suffering, and harassing his atonement would bring to him. Yet he also knew the blessings we would receive as well.

While watching General Conference, I have set aside a page of notes to write down words or phrases that describe the Atonement to me, that are inspired or quoted directly from the General Authorities. They are:

Willingly
Voluntarily
Loving
Generosity
Redeeming
Liberating from sin
Mercy
Sacred
Inviting
Profound
Purifies
Passage back to our Heavenly Father
Hymns of rejoicing and praise
Blots out our sins
Manifestation of love
Suffering no more
Inviting to happiness

I have no doubt in my mind that tomorrow will bring another flood of words that describe this sacred act, and I encourage you to write down your thoughts about Christ's atonement the remainder of this General Conference.

Thank you, God, for loving me. Thank you for sacrificing your son so I may return. Thank you. I love you.

How Fast?

Whenever I go to write a blogpost, I always put the title of the post first before even writing out my thoughts. Why is this important? I don't know it's just very amusing to me. While I'm writing, I will change the title but I'll always put the title first, not last. Weird. I'll stop rambling now.

Believe it or not, this post has a purpose. My initial ramblings might have mislead you, but believe me, I have a purpose. It is this. How Fast? How fast does our life change? One of the lesson's I've learned these past three months is that our life changes according to how much we listen to the Spirit. Let's rewind to about two years ago, 2014.

April, 2014.
 CCCC Southwest States Tour. I was 12 years old, and touring with my Choir across the Southwest States. Where did I see myself in two years? Finishing up middle school, a excellent musician, popular. Classic 12 year old. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life. I just kind of figured whatever was supposed to happen would happen and it would all be good.






It was fun :D.

December 2014
Next stop, Guinness World Live Nativity. Me and a few friends went up to help break the record. We ended up meeting quite a few Youtubers, which was rad. I didn't have many friends. I had started LANV that fall. I was awkward, but what 12 year old isn't? This was by far the highlight of the year. So many memories. Like the Choir Trip in April, I didn't have a sense of direction.





I don't even know that this ^ picture is XD.

Fall, 2015
 Start of Freshman year. I had just skipped a grade that summer. One word to describe me: stressed. I was hoping to get a lot out of the year, since I was starting seminary as well. A month into the year I was bored, tired, lazy, and ungrateful.


My Haiti trip, December 2015.
This trip was undeniably orchestrated by God's hands. Many things happened on this trip that changed my life and the life of my entire family. They are:

1. I developed a sense of overwhelming gratitude, happiness, and fulfilment. These orphans taught me how to be happy, how to serve and love, and they strengthened my testimony in Christ.

2. We met Americans living in Haiti, doing humanitarian work. My mom LOVED the idea. Previously, we had tried applying for jobs in Hawaii, but it never worked out. We needed to be in Vegas. But after this trip, it was very evident to my mom that we needed OUT of Vegas. So after meeting these families, she called my dad that night and said "You should really look into international teaching jobs. I think it would be fun."

3. This was my first taste of being immersed in nature, service, and complete selflessness. I also got my first taste at international travel, and from then on I was HOOKED.

Now, I know what I love. I have a pretty good group of friends, I'm changed. I did pretty good in my first semester of High School.









Late March, 2016
We buy the plane tickets to Costa Rica. It's official, we're going. We start the process of finding rental homes, getting rid of possessions, and figuring out legal documents, etc. There's no turning back no. I tell all my friends, and it's hard. Really hard.

May, 2016
My first Elevation. I'm not going to say much, only that it was life changing and I wouldn't change that experience for anything in the world. So many new friends, so many new experiences. I learn more about myself, the things I love, and about God. I learn more lessons and principles that helped me become the best I could ever be.







June, 2016

We move. We move. To Costa Rica. AHHHHHHH. Just. Life is so different. My way of thinking is so different. My style of life is so different. I don't really know how to explain it. You just have to be immersed in my life to truly understand. If you had asked me two years ago if I thought we were going to Costa Rica, I would've laughed in your face. Lessons I've learned so far:

1. Jesus Christ loves me more than I know.

2. Service is the way to happiness.

3. Nature is my best friend.

4. My family is actual kind of cool and I really enjoy them.

5. Adventure is radical.

6. I am rich, and I am ungrateful for my prosperity.

7. Living life on purpose is so beautiful.

Things that have happened here that have changed me:

1. Spending majority of my Sundays serving.

2. Not having a piano has made me appreciate my talents a lot more.

3. Becoming Class President in two of my classes has given the greatest opportunity to make new friends and practice leadership skills.

4. I have found a second family, my Williamsburg family. My people. They teach me the culture of belonging.

5. I have become completely vulnerable to hurt and pain, but in doing so become abundantly open to happiness and true friendship.

6. Spending excessive amounts of time in nature has allowed me to feel a direct extension of God's love and power.

7. Being covered in mosquito and spider bites has made me appreciate my health.

8. Last but not least, I have come to learn that hard work, faith, perseverance, and a testimony in Christ will bring you unfathomable happiness.

So I have a question for you. How fast? How fast will your life change? Will you listen to the promptings of the spirit as it seeks to guide you? Will you sacrifice for God's kingdom? Will you diligently search the scriptures and pray for an answer to your problems and tribulations? Will you leave yourself open to deep, vulnerable, and loving relationships? Will you lead? Will you expand? Will you live without regrets; will you live on purpose? Will you follow Christ?

Savannah

Epiphany - A Guest Post by Dallin Ward

I used to think that when I had an epiphany or came to a new understanding of truth, I had finally come to the end of a journey and all of my problems regarding that issue would be solved. Now I am learning that such is seldom the case. It is true that one journey has ended - that's what the epiphany was - and it's also true that such an end in thought is a call to greater living. This means that instead of just understanding truth, I am now challenged to apply it to my life.

This can hurt a lot.

I've had this experience with the concept of love for the last few years, and specifically the last few months. Years and years of thinking and searching and trying to understand led me to some fantastic epiphanies and truths about love, and I feel like I understand it really well. Applying it has been quite a struggle. Love hurts sometimes. That's something I might not have been able to tell you a year or two ago. Trust me, it does. The great thing about love though is that it doesn't stop being love even when other people suffer because of loving action. Wrestling taught me about this.

For a long time, I believed that to wrestle with love was to never hurt anybody else. I thought that I couldn't wrestle really aggressively and physically and lay a beating on the guy across from me and still love him. It turns out that this is false. God never said to never hurt other people. In fact, He tells us in Proverbs that the wounds of a friend are faithful (Proverbs 27:6.) Faithful. How can that be?

It took me a long time to understand, and I could explain it to you. I'm not going to, however. I'm getting distracted from my original point. :)

The original point, and what I really want to end on, is this:

Epiphanies are the bugles of war. Once you understand greater truths, there is no turning back to the way things were before. You have something better to live for, and if you don't live for it great calamity will fill your soul. To live truthfully is a fight; a battle that can only be won because Jesus Christ is fighting too. He wants to bring you home.

Will you fight with Him?

Dallin is a friend of mine :). You can find his blog here: http://thoughtsofasimpledreamer.blogspot.com/