It Hurt. It Was out of Love.

I really need to be doing school. I have a literary analysis essay due, along with a module quiz for Biology, and 30 pages in Last Best Hope, along with a video lecture. I'm drowning. But this is important.

You know that pain that hurts so much that instead of working it out, you simply swallow it and distract yourself? Yeah well. You could say that's me. This morning was the first time I had cried in four weeks. If you know anything about me, you should know that that is not me. I cry. A lot. I cry because I'm laughing too hard, because I climbed a mountain and I look over a beautiful vista. I cry because I received a 100 on a assignment I thought I would barely pass. I cry because I love my friends. I cry because I miss my friends. I cry because Peanut Butter tastes so good. Well. Before today, I hadn't cried in four weeks.

Some of you might know about the Interpersonal Analysis Form for Social Leadership (a class I'm taking offered at Williamsburg Academy). I got mine back last week. Ouch. I thought I was a good friend previous to that critical feedback.

I received a 6/10 on "Listens to Understand". Hopes and dreams: dying.
Respects/tolerates People different from him/herself. 7/10. Hopes and dreams: critical condition.
Aware of how others perceive him/her. 6/10. Hopes and dreams: dead.

The feedback I received was good. I've been improving. But it hurts. It was out of love. I wanted nothing more than to get on a airplane and hug these people. I don't think they know how much I love them. Even when I hurt them and they hurt me. I get hurt because they love me. I hurt them because I love them. Isn't that what friendship is?

The hot tears falling down my face; I thought they would never stop. But they did. Eventually. It felt good. Did you know that you cry as a natural "cool down"? We think we cry because we're sad. Well we do, but there's a scientific reason behind that. If we continued to feel sad without crying, we would work ourselves to a hysteria and it would effect us physically and mentally. Tears are a way for us to channel out emotions out of your body. It's an emotional cool down. So crying is good. (More can be found about this here). 

I hurt. I joy (incorrect grammar. But sometimes you have to write it as it is).

Christ loves us. I know that. I love him.

Rejoice, brother and sisters. There is hope. :)

Savannah