Regret

Take it from someone who knows.

Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you" to someone you love. Because one day you'll be saying your last one and you'll regret the ones you didn't say.

A Silent Hallelujah

This post will be very vulnerable. Some of you will not agree with what you will read, but I ask of all to read with an open mind and empathy to the experience to which I am writing about.

Thank you.

A Silent Hallelujah

It had been a struggle to the top of the hill. It was early morning, and I was perspiring from the exercise. BYU Vocal Point played in my ears as I looked out over the view. A nice, big house on the left, and on the right, the majestic Lago Atitlan, with a stunning view of Volcan Atitlan and Toliman. I snapped a quick picture, then turned around, and started back down the Hill to return home. But then something stopped me. A surge. A surge of emotion that seemed to come from the depths of my soul. I turned around and returned to my spot on the hill. I took out my earbuds and did something that I hadn't done in a while. I listened. And then I felt. The numbness I had been applying broke and in came my heart. An incredible surge of sadness, joy, regret, excitement, passion, love, stress, and peace. The surge stung my eyes and made my heart ache. Suddenly, like a great wave, the memories from the last 2 1/2 years came crashing over me. I thought back to the beginning of Freshman year, and the crisis that I went through. I remembered the loss of most of my friends. I remembered my trip to Haiti and how much it changed me. I remembered joining debate and making WA friends for the first time. I remembered, with much joy, my first Elevation. I painfully remembered my first real move, to Costa Rica. I remember the hikes and the challenges.I remembered dancing in the kitchen, shooting Dad with a BB gun, making more friends through Williamsburg, the hours zooming. I remembered seeing Grandma and Grandpa again. Oh, how I love them! I remembered Lake Arenal, I remembered moving to Guatemala and "hanging out" with kids for the first time in months. I remembered seminary and muffins ad late nights. I remembered leaving home for two months, alone. I remembered Washington D.C., visiting Sam and Emily, the debate finals. I remembered the mountains of Provo, Utah. I remembered the homesickness. I remembered my 2nd and 3rd Elevation. I remembered coming home. I remembered the two Youth Groups in Guatemala. I remembered the Homestead and the tube. I remembered the Cultiva Group. I remembered passion and goodbyes. I remembered tears. I remembered the start of Junior Year. I remembered seeing the Jensens every day. Then, I felt all of that. All at once, a great roar in my ears. After that had cleared, I thought of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I thought of my slow, but steady, conversion process. I thought of my progress and faith. Then I thought of the majesty of Jesus Christ. Goosebumps chilled my body as I reflected on the power of the Atonement, the grandeur of the Planet Earth. I thought of Jesus Christ in my own life, and how hot he had heated the Refiner's Fire for me. Then I was still. A bird chirped. A dog barked. A car door slammed. There I stood, overlooking a magnificent lake. I listened, I felt. I thanked my God for everything. I thanked my God for my abundance. Then I was still once more. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, a silent hallelujah escaped my heart. It swelled and grew until it was like a Trumpet sounding. The silent hallelujah shook the Earth. Then all was quiet. I slowly turned around and started home. I arrived and continued my day as normal. But the silent hallelujah still echoed in my heart. It always will.

"Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion, ... be still and know that I am God."

- D&C 101:16

Strong

Your character's strength is polished in the happy moments. Your character's strength is produced in the challenges. 

Be strong in the Gospel.

Be strong for others.

Be strong through Christ.

How Fast? Very.

A while ago, I wrote a post called "How Fast?". A basic summary is how fast will you let yourself live the most epic life, listen to the Spirit, and how fast things can change when you follow Christ. I wrote it in September, right after we had settled in Esparza, Costa Rica, and I was struggling. Lonely, sad, and friendless. However, I knew that something better was going to happen. So I wrote about it. And now that better thing has happened.

In January, I moved to Panajachel, Guatemala. The ultimate "amen hallelujah". I love my life here. I love the people, the lifestyle, and the things I've learned and the person I've become because of my time here.

March 28th, I left on an epic solo adventure (well, solo for a couple hours). I flew from Guatemala City to Las Vegas. This was the beginning of a two month period of pure awesome sauce. I went to Washington D.C. with the Clark County Children Choir, took a day trip up to St. George to visit some friends, went to a wedding, attended two sessions of Elevation, and had group therapy at the Brown's table (shoutout to the Browns for opening up their home to me, a wandering hobo in need of vegetables). I was able to see so many family and friends, explore a little more of this wonderful world, and love more deeply. Because it's hard to write about two months in one post, I'll just give a quick summary of each experience.

Washington D.C.:

I LOVE AMERICA. I got to see a beautiful city and culture, apply what I'd learned in U.S History, and fangirl over Abraham Lincoln (no shame).

St. George:

I have so much love for this adventure and these people. From cake batter chapstick, to Cafe Rio, to Pineapples, to International Shoot Up, to stalking Mr. Brown, and Veyo Pies, this day was the best. I'm honored to call these people my best friends. 

Erin's Wedding:

Because sometimes you need to go off-roading in Tuxedos and Dresses. 

The wedding cake may or may not have fallen on me on the drive home.

The Burger Meet Up:

I realized that it's not that rare of a phenomenon to see your friends in the flesh. #ThanksWilliamsburg. 

 ELEVATION:

The most incredible two weeks. First session I went as a student (HARD CORE POD 4 #sparklesssss) and second as a photographer. My life was changed. I was changed. I made amazing new friendships, saw old friends, and strengthened my relationships with my people. I'm so grateful for Williamsburg Academy and the roll it has played in my life.

Hard Core Pod 4. I love my sparkles. 

Weekend Adventure:

Again. Seeing your friends in person isn't totally foreign! Cliff jumping, seeking fortune elsewhere, Kanarraville Falls, Even Stevens, Waffles, Urban Renewal with Wes, homemade vegetable soup, getting sick, spending majority of my time with my best friend sleeping, and discussing America's political stage with Ben, I loved these few days. Thanks for all the memories.

LANV's formal:

Shoutout to Ames and Bri for being the best brownies ever.

Mini Pod 4 reunion!

THE BROWNIES (much love).

In a few months, my family will be taking off for Europe for x amount of months/years. That's kind of crazy to think about. I'm grateful for this life. I'm grateful for my God and my Faith. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for friends. Thanks for making this life awesome.