Pinned to the Soul

Some badges are pinned to the soul.

Just Talk

Talking is really nice. Especially to someone you know loves you. Someone you trust. Talking about everything is nice. To just sit down and let it all out. When you're sad, when you're happy, when you're upset, when you're stressed, or when you're in love. Get it all out. Sometimes we don't expect to talk to the person we talk to, but it feels good when you're done. Sometimes it's nice to let your body language talk. To let someone's actions talk. To let their touch talk. Just talk.

When I'm a Mom

When I'm a mom, I want to be the best mom EVER. I want to raise my kids to love life. To love Christ and live his gospel with complete fidelity. I want to instill that love for him in them and inspire them by my own actions. I want them to love adventure. I want them to love their family. I want them to love learning. I'll teach them those things. I'll teach them how to take care of their body and exercise. I'll read books with them. I'll watch movies with them. I'll take pictures with them so they can have little snapshots of my love for them. I'll invite their friends over so they know they can trust me and my husband with their relationships. I want them to grow up with a dog so they can learn how to be responsible. I want them to be involved with sports and music. I want to raise them to be passionate. I want them to see that their mom and dad love each other and that they are worthy of love. I want them to love chocolate so I have an excuse to buy a lot. I want them to cook with me so we can create memories. I want to hear all about my daughters' first date when they're 16. Their first kiss, their first boyfriend, their first prom. I want to be a friend to my children. I will raise them to respect everyone and serve selflessly. To dive deep into their education and invest in it. To be financially smart. Independent. How to make good decisions. I want to teach them to be in tune with the Spirit all the time. I will teach them to love themselves. But most importantly, I will teach them how to love their Savior, Jesus Christ.

IMMA BE THE BEST MOM EVER!!!

A Spiritual Airplane

When in turbulence or in a cloud, an airplane does not stop. The pilot does not put the plane in neutral and wait out the storm or apparent danger. No, it keeps moving. Forward. If he put it in neutral, there would be certain danger for passengers and he would run out of gas. So he keeps moving forward. Not to the side. Not back. Forward. In this analogy, the airplane is life and our faith in Jesus Christ. We are the pilot. The other passengers are the other people affected by our actions. The gas represents the atonement. In trying times, human nature is to stop and "wait out the storm". Stop progressing emotionally, spiritually, and physically. However, if we did that, our faith would waver, other people would be affected by our actions, and we would be put into spiritual danger. We would waste the atonement by not using its enabling power (just like the gas) to move forward. In life, we must press onward, enduring to the end despite the vicious trials life throws at us. We must trust in ourselves, in our savior, and keep an eternal perspective. We must trust that the ultimate pilot and savior of our lives will guide us safely home if we trust in him, follow him, and use his atonement and the enabling power it gives us.

FRIGGIN ACCEPTANCE

I had this thought the other day and after thinking about it for a while I'm kind of ticked. WHY CAN'T WE JUST FRIGGIN ACCEPT EVERYONE.

My favorite celebrity is Ellen. Without a doubt. Hi Ellen if you're reading this I love you. Anyways. Ellen is a huge LGBTQ+ advocate and I admire that she's willing to stand up for what she believes in.  I was watching her 20th Anniversary of Coming Out video and had this epiphany. It seems that a lot of gay people lose their friends after coming out because their "friends" are afraid they'll start hitting on them. Well, I'm straight and I don't hit on every single guy I meet. That'd be weird. So why do we think that just because someone's gay they'll hit on you...? *loud screaming* JUST FRIGGIN ACCEPT EVERYONE.

Another thing. Christ accepts everyone. He loves everyone. In fact, he died for everyone. It's not liked our acceptance into the Celestial Kingdom will be based on whether or not we're straight or not. God loves ALL his children and wants them to be happy. So let's be like Christ and love everyone too.

Kick the Comfort Zone

I was going through the notes on my phone and found this.

"Don't be afraid to not do 'what girls do.'" You are different. Kick the comfort zone."

While that may be true, let's try an alternative.

"Don't be afraid to do 'what girls do'. You are different. Kick the comfort zone."

It's okay to not wear makeup for an entire month but then wear a full face every once in a while. It's okay to feel really pretty in a dress. It's okay to curl your hair. It's okay to get filthy dirty while playing in the mud with your siblings. It's okay to burp after a really good meal (just don't get in the habit ;)). It's okay to have big thighs because you exercise regularly. It's okay to be yourself.

Sometimes, kicking the comfort zone isn't being the opposite of something, or entirely changing yourself. Sometimes, it's simple acceptance of who you are. Finding your personal freedom. Kick the comfort zone.

My Human Capital

Human capital is your worth. It is what you have to offer, and what drives the economy. The economy is made up of individuals offering services (capital), which moves the economy forward. It raises the economy because when there is human capital, there is so much worth and value in the economy.

My Human Capital:

Skills:

• Learning
• Public speaking
• Ukulele
• Outgoing
• Reading
• Physical activity
• Photography
• Improving yourself
• Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
• Packing a suitcase
• Being flexible
• Resourceful

Knowledge:

• History
• People
• The gospel
• Government philosophy
• How to make people like you
• Photography
• Music
• How to make things aesthetically pleasing
• Airports
• How to improve/stretch yourself

Talents:

• Music
• People
• Public speaking
• Learning
• Rock climbing
• Expressing myself
• Helping others
• Physical activity
• Creating systems
• Interior decorating
• Connecting with people

Passion:

• People
• Learning
• The Gospel
• The outdoors
• Food
• Adventure
• Interior decorating (just go with it)
• Creating systems
• Music

Create your human capital.

Heartbreak

The worst feeling in the world is knowing your friend's heart is breaking but you can't do anything about it because you don't understand their battle.

Christ Wants Us to Look Up

Whenever I hear the word "hope", I think of looking up into the sky, sunlight breaking through clouds and streaming on to my face, birds chirping, and butterflies circling me, all in a field of wildflowers.
Not really, but you get the idea. Hope, to me, means "look up". For me, I have hope for things in the future. I hope that I will get accepted into BYU Provo, and I act on that hope. I have hope that I will win the Student Body Presidency election, and I act on that hope. I have hope that putting in the time to exercise will benefit me in the long term, and I act on that hope. I look forward.

This past week I read a few scriptures that taught me about hope. In John 3:14-15 it says

14. And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up;
15. That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

As Moses led the Israelites into the wilderness, many became sick. They begged Moses for a cure, so he gave them one. He put a serpent on a stick and raised it up. Anyone who had the faith to look up at the serpent would be healed. Although it was so simple, many did not look and died. As John 3 explains, the serpent was symbolic of Jesus Christ being raised upon the cross. Anyone who looks to him will be saved.
There are a few words I want to highlight. Lifted and raised, look, saved, believe.
Christ was raised on the cross. As his disciples, Mary, and others looked up at him, they witnessed the end to the most selfless and perfect act in human history; the Atonement of Jesus Christ. When we look up to this moment in time and its continuation into our lives thousands of years later, we are saved because we believe and we believe because we act. The act is to look.

Helaman 8:15 expounds even more on this principle.

15. And as many as should look upon that serpent should live, even so as many as should look upon the Son of God with faith, having a contrite spirit, might live, even unto that life which is eternal.

Contrite spirit. Live. Faith. Eternal.

All these words have one thing in common. Hope. Humility to hope. Live by hope. Faith, Hope, and Charity. Hope and faith in an Eternal God.

In Alma 37:47 we read Alma's advice to his son Helaman.

47: And now, my son, see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea, see that ye look to God and live. Go unto this people and declare the word, and be sober. My son, farewell.

There are four pieces of advice in this verse that guide us to look up. 1. Take care of sacred things. Honor covenants made with God. Live righteously. Men, honor your priesthood duty. Women, teach the children and youth to become Christlike people. 2. Live. Live with hope in God and Jesus Christ. Live to your full potential. Live with joy. 3. Declare the word. Be a missionary. By an example of the believers, edify, uplift, and love. 4. Be sober. This is a little confusing, so to clarify we'll look at a Spanish translation. The translation is "ser justicio", or be just. Live a life of fairness, mercy, and justice. Judge righteously.

Christ does not want us to live a trodden down life. He wants us to live a life full of joy, peace, laughter, life, and hope. He wants us to look up. Through his atonement and our faith, Christ will pull us up. He will pull us out of trials into peace. He will pull us from sin to repentance. He will advocate for us in front of the father and pull us to eternal life.

Christ wants us to look up.

I Want To Be Normal

Yup. I just said that. Let's say it again. I want to be normal.
I want to hang out with my friends on a Friday night. I want to watch movies. I want to braid hair. I want to talk about boys. I want to actually see my friends. I want to know how to put on eyeshadow and what the heck highlighter is. I want to do choir. I want to do volleyball. I want to take selfies with my friends. I want to go to dances (even though I hate them). I want to do normal things.

But.

I can't.

Here's why.

I'm not normal. Even before I moved I never was normal. I don't like drama. I won't fight a friend over a boy. I love politics. I love school. I'd rather read a book than watch a movie. I'd rather exercise than watch Netflix. I don't become obsessed with a tv show.

Hahaha.

I'm not normal.

At first glance you might not think that. I'm short, wear glasses, have boring hear, laughs a lot, cries a lot. But then you get to know me. Then you realize I'm not the sweet little girl you thought I was. I'm a honey badger. I sound nice but I'm not afraid to rip you apart.
I get competetive. If I lose I will dwell on it until I win.
I'm studious. I'll get an A if it's the last thing I do.
I go after whatever I want. And I succeed. Most of the time.
I have meaningful relationships with my mentors and other adults in my life.
I have meaningful relationships with my peers.
I haven't spent the time to master one instrument, sport, or art. I can do a little bit of everything.
I don't exercise because I'm in a sport. I exercise because I want to be healthy.
I have a testimony of my savior Jesus Christ and my Father in heaven not because my parents told me to have one, but because I wanted one.
I speak another language.
I like getting up early.
I journal every day.
I love life.
I live life.

I am not normal.
My frends are not normal. But even by their standards I am not normal.
But that doesn't mean I'm strange.
I'm just not normal.

But I want to be normal.
I want people to accept me for who I am instead of accepting me for where I've been.

I want to be normal.

I am not normal.

Why can't I accept that.

Why is this going on a public blogpost instead of my journal.
Idk man.

What is wrong with me.
Nothing is wrong with me.

I'm just not normal.

That's all.

Have a nice day.